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The secret to leadership and transformation of a group, or of
another person, is the quality of the relationship one person has
with another. Thus the effective group leader or counselor will be
the person who learns how to listen to other people. By studying
and employing these listening skills, church leaders will engage
others more compassionately, allowing them to feel that their needs
are being met. The skills can be used with persons who are
terminally ill, inactive at church, going through a divorce, in a
family with a severely ill person, unemployed, seeking a new
church, grieving, traumatized by catastrope, going through teenage
adolescence, in marriage counseling, or leading a ministry team.
John Savage offers eleven specific and teachable listening skills
for improving relationships among those who do ministry in
small-group settings or when offering counsel to others. The skills
are taught through oral exercises and unfailingly helpful examples
from actual congregational situations. The skills include
paraphrase, productive questions, perception check, expression of
feelings and emotions, fogging, negative inquiry, behavior
description, and story listening.
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